04/08/2017 3:49 PM

Oh fun. The landlord may be nice, but he forgot to mention something before we moved in here: that there was a bug problem. I wish it were ants, fleas, or even cockroaches. But noooooo,  it just had to fucking be bedbugs. We’ve had to deal with this once before in a different apartment building we lived in years ago. We thought we shook loose of these little bloodsuckers’ grip. And we did. But now, here we go again. God almighty. Not this again. You know how hard these little bastards are to get rid of? We’ve been here only a week. ONE WEEK. And this is happening already.

But you know what? I don’t care anymore. Whether it’s bugs, or people, or bad luck, there’s always gonna be something unpleasant going on in our lives. It just never ends. As long as we’re playing the game of life, we have to put up with the little annoyances it throws at us. It really does feel like a huge middle finger in my face. It doesn’t piss me off like it used to. I’ve just grown accustomed to this kind of thing. If there’s a first or last place, You can bet I’ll be in last place. It’s just the way it is. I guess.

Now Megan’s upset. She gets bit up by these little bastards more than I do, and it does create an oppressive feeling in your home. Especially in the bedroom, because that’s where they like to feed on you mostly. She’s being real quiet and distant. And I’ve been with this woman for 5 years now, I know what it means when she gets quiet. It means she’s depressed. Luckily, she’s married to me, someone who is all too familiar with the heavy influence of depression and it’s effects. Cuddling and letting her cry on my chest usually makes her feel better in 15 to 20 minutes.

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04/06/2017 10:37 AM

It’s been a little while since I’ve put in an entry. Time to start keeping up.

A little bit has changed. We moved out of my mom’s house, got our own place again. Thank the heavens too, because having your wife and your mother under the same roof for too long has unpleasant results. But that aside, we’re on our own again, and it’s a pretty nice place. Small apartment, but it’s perfect for two people.

When we got our internet installed here, we decided to not go through our ISP for cable. We need to cut corners where we can to save money, so we’re using SlingTV to get our cable TV, only 25 bucks a month, you can’t beat that!

Have I mentioned Bella yet? She is our cat. We finally found our pet, one that is right for us. And believe me, she’s getting spoiled every day! But she’s been getting more lovey dovey since we’ve moved here. I think it’s because she can sense there’s no other cats around so she feels like she’s the only one for us. Which she is.

Got support group today at the mental health center. I’ve been getting better at going to those, instead of just staying home every Thursday. I’ve been contemplating about possibly going back to therapy with my counselor, but I just don’t know. Not sure what I’d say. I still see my psychiatrist every month for my meds, but I haven’t seen my therapist in months. Just not sure anymore how much help it actually does.

Anyways, good news on the health front! I quit smoking again, I think for good this time! I’m vaping now, so I’m still getting nicotine, but without all that other junk they put in cigarettes nowadays. This is my second month vaping, and it works. So I wanna keep that up.

My next book of poetry is taking shape. I’m finally starting to FEEL what it’s about. You writers know what I mean by that. I like to have a theme, a story being told in my poetry books. I want it to be about what I’m feeling as I grow and age more in a particular era of my life. So my 4th book is being written, but as with all my works, I take my time. I won’t rush anything out there, not until I’m sure it is what I want it to be.